THE INFLUENCE OF IN-LAWS IN MARRIAGE INSTITUTION IN NIGERIA TODAY.
Marriage is beautiful,highly enjoyable when it works well as expected.It can also turn unlucky to Aristotle of this world, enticed mixed feelings of sweet and bitter.The victims are either frustrated and psychologically affected or traumatized.The root cause of many problems today didn't originate from the couple themselves but many traceable to overbearing influence of the mother in laws on her son or indifferent attitudes of other husbands family members towards the wife.However,not that the wife herself is exonerated from this findings but each participants played vital role in allowing marriage to walk.I was thrown off balance when a lady was saying it among her friends that she never prayed to meet her mother in law alive in husbands house.In other words,praying for the demise of her mother in law before marriage or praying to have husband who has lost his mother years before they met!. She even said she will asked her intending husband if his mother alive or not before talking oath of marriage?What cruel desire!.
This is the society we build to heal overburden challenges. Many mother in laws desire to stay with their children either to guide or continue hold on him.They failed to see him now as an adult who is starting a new life entirely.A man needs a sense of commitment to his partner and should be allowed to exercise privacy with his wife.Some mothers in some cases are very emotional and jealous of releasing their son to another woman as a wife to continue helping him in a journey of life.Some mother in laws rather assume another role of a competitor with a daughter in law instead of staying aloof and watch as marital journey progresses.Another scenario is when a mother in law come on visit and started asking questions about his Son's home finances and poke nosing into domestic spending of the woman,sanctioning or questioning reasons for incurring some expenses.If this practice goes on or continues,the wife in the house will not be comfortable at home and questions arises to confront her husband to define their roles or to chose either his wife or his mother.
Husband should be able to have capacity-financial capacity,mental capacity etc.When husband displayed high degree of immaturity by calling his mother,brother or sister over petulant issues which ordinarily should be settled between husband and wife.His mother may believe his son is not secured and something must be done fast to defend his child.You see mother in law sending his (husband)sister or brother to infiltrate such home to know who is right or wrong.
That is why is believe that marriage should be contracted between two matured people so that some domestic matters can be handled among themselves without eternal interference.It is advised that mother in laws should seldom frequent visiting of his son's home.She will not see what is not expected to see or criticize.It a bitter truth that 70% of "digital wives" today are far from wedding materials!Many of them are not domestic enough to handle kitchen or domestic cores.They will not want mother in laws or husbands family members to unravel all these.Therefore,the potent weapon is to work out a method to keep them at bay,far from her matrimonial homes.After all,marriage is lose some and win some.With overbearing love and sex,her husband will not remember her weaknesses once no external influence.When you expect wife to be homely and more domestic,they crave indulgence in fast food junks and quick cereal foods like pasta foods.They substituted domestic cores for pressing phones,chatting,sending pictures,Facebook,Instagram,Video messages and very visible on all social networks.If the mother in law is around,such mother can pick holes in such in-domestic dispositions, after all She didn't raise her son that way to eat junks around.
However,picking holes is not the solution!Corrections in love has weight more than in anger.
To make a peaceful home,everybody has a role to play.The husband must display a mental capacity to be in charge and exercise control over his home.
The wife must accept corrections in love and absolve her in laws as her own family.See her mother in law as her own and give her respect with due humility.Is a primary duty of a woman to be neat,responsible,disciplined,domestic and God -fearing.With all ingredients mentioned earlier,even if there will be issue,the matter will not be out of control.In the other hands,God has given mother in laws role to play in life of children as advisory and such role should be performed with dignity and height of tolerance.Her son's home should not be seen as second home or a place to be or visited at every slightest opportunity.The visiting is expected to be brief and purposeful,though there might be a need for occasional casual visiting most especially is there is grace to attain stage of Grandpa and Grandma.Grandchildren are like apple in the eyes of grandparents and having them will always arose sense of eagerness to come visiting but must be done periodically.
There is nothing wrong in other members of the family to visit their brother or sister visiting her brother but should avoid calling him( husband )aside for side talks.They should refrain from exercising a sense of control in their brothers domain or home.Such is unwelcoming and barbaric!. Women should be allowed to enjoy marriages and husband is expected to display sense of capacity to lead and coordinate his immediate home and extended families.
This is the society we build to heal overburden challenges. Many mother in laws desire to stay with their children either to guide or continue hold on him.They failed to see him now as an adult who is starting a new life entirely.A man needs a sense of commitment to his partner and should be allowed to exercise privacy with his wife.Some mothers in some cases are very emotional and jealous of releasing their son to another woman as a wife to continue helping him in a journey of life.Some mother in laws rather assume another role of a competitor with a daughter in law instead of staying aloof and watch as marital journey progresses.Another scenario is when a mother in law come on visit and started asking questions about his Son's home finances and poke nosing into domestic spending of the woman,sanctioning or questioning reasons for incurring some expenses.If this practice goes on or continues,the wife in the house will not be comfortable at home and questions arises to confront her husband to define their roles or to chose either his wife or his mother.
Husband should be able to have capacity-financial capacity,mental capacity etc.When husband displayed high degree of immaturity by calling his mother,brother or sister over petulant issues which ordinarily should be settled between husband and wife.His mother may believe his son is not secured and something must be done fast to defend his child.You see mother in law sending his (husband)sister or brother to infiltrate such home to know who is right or wrong.
That is why is believe that marriage should be contracted between two matured people so that some domestic matters can be handled among themselves without eternal interference.It is advised that mother in laws should seldom frequent visiting of his son's home.She will not see what is not expected to see or criticize.It a bitter truth that 70% of "digital wives" today are far from wedding materials!Many of them are not domestic enough to handle kitchen or domestic cores.They will not want mother in laws or husbands family members to unravel all these.Therefore,the potent weapon is to work out a method to keep them at bay,far from her matrimonial homes.After all,marriage is lose some and win some.With overbearing love and sex,her husband will not remember her weaknesses once no external influence.When you expect wife to be homely and more domestic,they crave indulgence in fast food junks and quick cereal foods like pasta foods.They substituted domestic cores for pressing phones,chatting,sending pictures,Facebook,Instagram,Video messages and very visible on all social networks.If the mother in law is around,such mother can pick holes in such in-domestic dispositions, after all She didn't raise her son that way to eat junks around.
However,picking holes is not the solution!Corrections in love has weight more than in anger.
To make a peaceful home,everybody has a role to play.The husband must display a mental capacity to be in charge and exercise control over his home.
The wife must accept corrections in love and absolve her in laws as her own family.See her mother in law as her own and give her respect with due humility.Is a primary duty of a woman to be neat,responsible,disciplined,domestic and God -fearing.With all ingredients mentioned earlier,even if there will be issue,the matter will not be out of control.In the other hands,God has given mother in laws role to play in life of children as advisory and such role should be performed with dignity and height of tolerance.Her son's home should not be seen as second home or a place to be or visited at every slightest opportunity.The visiting is expected to be brief and purposeful,though there might be a need for occasional casual visiting most especially is there is grace to attain stage of Grandpa and Grandma.Grandchildren are like apple in the eyes of grandparents and having them will always arose sense of eagerness to come visiting but must be done periodically.
There is nothing wrong in other members of the family to visit their brother or sister visiting her brother but should avoid calling him( husband )aside for side talks.They should refrain from exercising a sense of control in their brothers domain or home.Such is unwelcoming and barbaric!. Women should be allowed to enjoy marriages and husband is expected to display sense of capacity to lead and coordinate his immediate home and extended families.
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